School and family life

Useful Hints

Drinking: The drinking age in Germany is 16 for beer and wine, but don't abuse the privilege! Getting drunk won't win you points with anyone.

Driving: Here the situation is reversed. In Germany, you can't drive until you're 18, but public transportation will take you anywhere you want to go. A Monatskarte or monthly pass for local buses, subways and streetcars can be purchased at special student rates. Student discounts are also offered for railway, bus and air travel, but special conditions often apply.

Phoning home: Nowadays there are cheap ways of calling home, but you must carefully check them out. One minute will cost you 2 or 10 Euro cent.

Politics: Everybody talks politics in Germany - and you'll be expected to know what's going on in the world. So take some time to brush up on current events and perhaps even some American history. That way you can express your views with confidence.

Rudeness: Don't take immediate offense at what you may feel is unfriendly or brusque behavior on the part of the Germans. In Germany, it's not unusual for a stranger to bump into you on the street and not feel the need to apologize. Non-verbal communication and perceptions of common courtesy differ the world over. Before you feel hurt or insulted, ask yourself: was that person really being rude or am I just reading him or her that way?

Shopping: By American standards, shopping hours in Germany are still extremely limited. Supermarkets and stores used to close at 6.30 p.m. during the week. Most stores now stay open till 8 p.m. (sometimes only until 4 p.m. on Saturdays). In smaller towns, closing hours can be earlier. And throughout Germany, Sundays are for window-shopping only.

Superficiality: One of the most frequently heard stereotypes of Americans is that they are oberflächlich, or superficial. Many Germans distrust immediate displays of friendliness, suspecting such behavior to be insincere. However, there's no need to compromise yourself. Tactfully explain that it's a question of style, not shallowness, and that this is how most Americans interact .

To Sie or not to Sie: Formality is a tricky issue for Americans accustomed to taking an informal tone with almost everybody. For Germans, it's the opposite, and formality has been built literally into the language. Du is used to address friends and children, while Sie is the proper form of address for adults, teachers and people with whom you are not yet acquainted. A good rule of thumb: always use Sie unless invited to do otherwise.

Family ties

From the moment you sit down to your first meal in Germany, you'll begin to notice the differences - large and small - that come with living in a culture other than your own. So don't be surprised if you're served sandwiches for dinner. lt's the traditional Abendbrot, which remains the norm in many German households where a substantial lunch is the main meal of the day. And Germans, in European style, never switch eating implements from left to right as Americans do. So don't be put off if people seem to take an unusual interest in how you hold your knife and fork, or if they look shocked when you tear apart, instead of neatly slice, your Brötchen or roll at breakfast. No one expects you to change all of your habits, but trying out other ways and customs is part of the fun of living abroad.

The same holds true for what will most certainly be a new and daily routine. German parents generally don't set curfews (the public transportation system does that!), but being home at mealtimes is a must. If you can't make it, call ahead. Remember, you won't be a guest, but a member of the family, and will be expected to live by the rules of the household, help out with chores and take part in family activities. Weekends are leisurely and quiet, with much time for private reflection and favorite shared pursuits.

Your host family is the most important part of your exchange experience. Your German mom, dad, brothers and sisters are there to help you deal with culture shock and homesickness and to make you feel you belong. That's why a good match is crucial. Exchange organizations carefully consider the personalities and interests of both parties, and placing you with a warm and friendly family tends to take precedence over location. You can start off on the right foot by calling or writing to your host family before you leave the U.S. Once you're there, don't be afraid to be honest and direct about your feelings, expectations and needs. lt will help you build a solid relationship with your new family.

School Days

As former exchange student April Points remarked, "the German school system isn't better or worse than America's. lt's just different, really different."

How different? To begin with, after the 4th or 6th grade (depending on the state), students in Germany are divided into groups according to their intellectual abilities and interests. They are then sent to one of the four different types of schools: a Hauptschule, which usually graduates 9th-graders into blue-collar jobs; a Realschule, which ends after the 10th grade and leads to more specialized vocational training or employment; a Gesamtschule, somewhat like American high schools; or a Gymnasium, which ends after the 13th grade with the successful completion of the dreaded Abitur - a series of tests taken over a two-year period that serves as a college entrance exam.

Like April, you will most likely attend a Gymnasium and be placed in the 11th or 12th grade. Strictly geared to future college students, German Gymnasiums are rather rigorous and theoretical in their educational approach. The choice of subjects is far more limited than in the U.S. - you won't find machine shop, typing or driver's education courses here. Electives are not offered until the 11th grade, and the educational system requires students to cover an extensive core curriculum in the sciences, mathematics, German literature, religion and foreign languages.

One aspect of the Gymnasium, however, that tends not only to surprise but to delight American students is that it lasts only a half-day (or roughly until 2 p.m.). You'll have plenty of time to do your homework and to engage in extra-curricular activities, many of which are independently organized by clubs or Vereine. Joining a Verein can be a useful way to expand your circle of friends as well as to develop your outside interests. Investigate the possibilities.

It would be a thoughtful gesture to bring a gift for your German hosts. lt doesn't have to be extravagant. Something representative of your state or hometown is bound to please. Also, don't forget to take some photographs of your family along. Your hosts will certainly be interested in knowing all about your life in the United States.

Finally, if you have time - and the inclination - the literature of a country can be its best introduction. Ask your local library or bookstore for English translations of works by classic or contemporary German authors, such as Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Rainer Maria Rilke, E.T.A. Hoffmann, Hermann Hesse, Thomas Mann, Bertolt Brecht, Christa Wolf and Günter Grass.

(taken from Oscar's magazine)